白骨精愛上我

　　{"body":[{"id":"40720552268136448","sort":"0","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"這突然地做“男人”！我很不習慣！所以當時，我就變成我蘇菲亞的容貌！"},{"id":"40720911166341120","sort":"1024","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"我想這唐僧要頭疼了！他這樣帶著個大美人，豈不是要讓人誤會？！"},{"id":"40720911166341121","sort":"2048","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"不！他看我這樣！他當時，他跪了！他向我懺悔，他說：“都是我的錯！我不該讓你穿虎皮裙！導致你性取向出問題，害你以為自己是女人！”我一聽，我急了！我叫道：“老娘我本來就是女的！”"},{"id":"40721493922938880","sort":"3072","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"??！這還是我記憶中的唐僧嗎？"},{"id":"40721493922938881","sort":"4096","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"反正，我對他的曾經(jīng)的印象是徹底崩塌，變廢墟了！當時，他甚至對我說：“悟空！你別這樣好嗎？師傅受不了！這罪惡感，就像陰差折磨著我！”我一聽，我就惱火了，我說：“老娘我就是想做回自己！你哪來那么都廢話？”"},{"id":"40721493922938882","sort":"5120","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……你那兩位師弟呢？當時，它們就沒反應(yīng)嗎？！"},{"id":"40721493922938883","sort":"6144","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"說到它們，我……我就更生氣了！那豬八戒啊直是嘴臉角來了個“疑是銀河落九天！”還跑過來……它明著跟我稱兄道弟，實則是吃我豆腐！當時，我連忙變出一瓶防狼噴霧劑！我噴得它，是一陣鬼哭狼嚎！"},{"id":"40721493922938884","sort":"7168","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"該！像這種色鬼！就得讓它長點記性！"},{"id":"40721616077848576","sort":"8192","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"而那個沙悟凈呢？它當時，它看我這樣，它說：“猴哥！你……這變的是誰??！你……你這樣會弄壞別人的名聲的！這年頭，女人不宜拋頭露面！搞不好！你會害人家戴上蕩婦的頭銜！”我一聽，我當時，我就吐血三升！"},{"id":"40721701960417280","sort":"9216","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"我想，它是摸到你的逆鱗了！"},{"id":"40721701960417281","sort":"10240","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"可不就是嘛！我當時，我咬牙切齒！我將它是往死里打！突然，唐僧跑過來！他說：“悟空！別打了！再打，它就成肉醬了！”"},{"id":"40721701960417282","sort":"11264","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哇靠！這么兇殘啊！"},{"id":"40722025978789888","sort":"12288","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"不這樣怎么殺一儆百？！當時，包括唐僧在內(nèi)，是無人敢再說一句！"},{"id":"40722025978789889","sort":"13312","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"你牛！你就不怕給它們留下陰影面積？"},{"id":"40722025978789890","sort":"14336","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"那不是很好？說明它們記?。∫彩〉梦姨嵝?！"},{"id":"40722025978789891","sort":"15360","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……我無語了！那后來呢？"},{"id":"40722025978789892","sort":"16384","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"我們來到白虎嶺?。?},{"id":"40722025978789893","sort":"17408","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哦！那不是白骨精的地盤嗎？！"},{"id":"40722025978789894","sort":"18432","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒錯！但，這是一場噩夢！現(xiàn)在，我想起來了，我幼小的心靈還很是受傷！"},{"id":"40722025978789895","sort":"19456","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"啊！不是吧！三打白骨精，你不是很熟？你應(yīng)該有對策??！"},{"id":"40722025978789896","sort":"20480","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"滾！它娘的！那都是騙人的。老娘……老娘我被坑慘了！"},{"id":"40722025978789897","sort":"21504","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"啊！怎么回事？感覺，就算在我頭頂放兩只天馬飛行……我也想象不出來！"},{"id":"40722074565607424","sort":"22528","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"你知道嗎？這白骨精是個男的！它娘的！它居然對我是一見鐘情！"},{"id":"40722074565607425","sort":"23552","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"啥？我耳朵沒出問題吧！畢竟我還年輕！"},{"id":"40722314530127872","sort":"24576","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"真的！當時，它還揚言要娶我回去，做什么壓寨夫人！我當時，我就碉堡了！"},{"id":"40722314530127873","sort":"25600","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"笑死我了！這么說來，孫悟空差點成白骨夫人？"},{"id":"40722570634330112","sort":"26624","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是??！當時，豬八戒笑的肚子疼！沙悟凈直接在地上滾！唐僧更是笑暈了！"},{"id":"40722570634330113","sort":"27648","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"這么說來！整個團隊，就剩你一個戰(zhàn)力了？！"},{"id":"40722570634330114","sort":"28672","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是啊！太悲催了！由于那些武功招式，我還不熟練！是漏洞百出……結(jié)果……結(jié)果我被調(diào)戲了！"},{"id":"40722570634330115","sort":"29696","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"什么？孫悟空被調(diào)戲了！這……這是什么概念？頭版頭條嗎？！"},{"id":"40722570634330116","sort":"30720","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是！還是三界之內(nèi)的！老實說，我當時，我很生氣！我吼道：“你當老娘是飛天豆腐?。≡偕焓衷囋?！我讓你殘廢！”"},{"id":"40722846032330752","sort":"31744","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"我想，這威脅應(yīng)該是沒用吧！"},{"id":"40722846032330753","sort":"32768","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"可不就是！它還更來勁了！還說什么，小辣椒！我最喜歡辣――爽！"},{"id":"40722938659340288","sort":"33792","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"哇涼！這……這整個是上演惡霸調(diào)戲良家婦女的戲碼??！"},{"id":"40722938659340289","sort":"34816","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒錯！所以我當時，我就想，我要是將它打殘廢了！它不會給我來句：“你……你這么疼我?。　蹦强删碗u皮疙瘩掉一地，能把人活埋了！"},{"id":"40723117974224896","sort":"35840","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"太糟糕了！這么下流的白骨精！你豈不是開了回豆腐坊？！"},{"id":"40723154733105152","sort":"36864","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"是?。‘斒俏揖拖耄骸霸趺礇]把你撐死？！”看著它一次次得手！我覺得，我是一肚子巖漿，我要把腦袋炸成火山了！"},{"id":"40723350154117120","sort":"37888","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"耶！別激動??！我可是無辜者，別把當時的怒火殃及我！"},{"id":"40723498884136960","sort":"38912","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"對不起！不過，我真是沒辦法忍受那家伙！我只要一想起那臉，我覺得它像一張清末的不平等條約――全是恥辱！"},{"id":"40723537270407168","sort":"39936","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……我想，我應(yīng)該提醒你一下！那是孫悟空的身體！它不是你的身體！"},{"id":"40723843001614336","sort":"40960","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"這話太晚了！當時，那感覺，可真真是我的感覺！我非常地惱怒！我拼命攻擊它！我吼道：“你已經(jīng)是白骨了，那墳?zāi)共攀悄愕臍w宿！給我滾回家去！”"},{"id":"40723992251727872","sort":"41984","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"等等……我有一個問題！白骨精不是很弱嗎？！"},{"id":"40723992251727873","sort":"43008","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"所以我才會說，我被坑慘了！它可是擁有幾千年的道行??！就是因為輕敵，我這豆腐白送了好多！"},{"id":"40724091841282048","sort":"44032","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"呃……看來！當時，你的情況很不樂觀！"},{"id":"40724336402759680","sort":"45056","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"沒錯！是逼得我使出美人計！當時，我想：“這色字頭上一把刀，我就是它自殺的刀！”"},{"id":"40724434113265664","sort":"46080","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"你……你不會告訴我，你當時，衣衫不整吧？！"},{"id":"40724434113265665","sort":"47104","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"我瘋了嗎？我當時，我是拿救命毫毛，變了兩個衣衫不整的美人！它們成功吸引了白骨精的注意！我趁機是一棒子打死了它！"},{"id":"40724698236977152","sort":"48128","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"??！我還以為這會是一場持久戰(zhàn)呢？！"},{"id":"40724782794145792","sort":"49152","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"得了吧！我可不想升級成大型豆腐加工工廠！"},{"id":"40724864666959872","sort":"50176","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"對！沒必要這么便宜那東西！不過，它這算是“牡丹花下死，做鬼也風流”??！"},{"id":"40724864666959873","sort":"51200","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"耶！你別刺激我??！"},{"id":"40724938503487488","sort":"52224","type":1,"role":"40673638860962113","content":"好了！我就是隨便開個玩笑！你至于嗎？！"},{"id":"40725012860108800","sort":"53248","type":1,"role":"40673583311588973","content":"行了！……老娘我是宰相的肚……讓你撐回船，可以了吧？！"}],"sentencecount":53}